Category: Let's talk
the question is, when you get old, would you choose to go in a care home?, or would you still prefer to look after yourself. reason i posted this....it was on a forum i was on, so many people are mugging older people nowadays.....what are your thaughts?
I would not go in to a nursing home or an assisted living facility.
I have no problem with homes in general, but I think if anything, I'd live in a retirement community. I mean the ones that have everything, like a self-contained town, or at least one where I'd have full independence as far as coming and going and caring for myself. But I don't know if Greece has those, and if I'm not living there by then, something will have gone terribly wrong in my life. lol If those don't exist, then I'd just live either with my partner, whomever he may be, or by myself. This is all, of course, assuming that I was in good health. I would not want, nor would I expect, my children or grandchildren to take care of me if I wasn't. In that case, yes, I would go live in a home.
joanne, why not?
I would not want to live in a nursing home, and would rather live in my own house, and/or with family.
It's interesting you should ask actually Dan, as my cousin thinks, because of my multiple disabilities I should go live in a home now. Needless to say I disagree, and do not live in a home. Nor ever will unless my health gets completely screwed up. So there's my stance. No home, unless I absolutely have to. Also, I'm not entirely sure about the relationship between living alone and being mugged? Explain, mr Daniel.
Actually, I'm changing my opinion and agreeing with post three. A retirement community sounds nice.
I'm not too keen on the idea of living in a nursing home. I never liked them, probably never will. My great grandmother was in one, and I've been to others for various things (christmas caroling, etc.) and I don't know. they always bothered me. Partially the smell they all semed to have. Maybe I'd consider a retirement community, but I don't know that I'd even like that that much. But who knows. Thoughts can change with time, and I think I have a long ways to go before I'd be eligible in any way for any of those. :)
A retirement community wouldn't be bad.
Unfortunately, most of us won't be able to make those choices. I mean we can take good care of ourselves now, but you still don't have any guarantee of being in good enough health when you get old to take care of yourself. And I'm talking about both physical and mental health. If you get Alzheimers and don't know your own family and get confused and keep forgetting where you are or how to dress yourself, you have to have care. Another consideration is money. No one wants to live in a home where underpaid nurse's aides treat you like crap, but if you don't have enough money or insurance to go to a nicer place, you won't end up in a nice fancy retirement community with lots of ammenities.
Libra Lady has the real answer. It's all about money. People who can afford it live in retirement communities, those who can't live at home until they can't, then they live in nursing homes.
Personally, I plan on spending my declining years right here on the zone bugging the hell out of the rest of you.
Bob
Interesting question, as some of us are closer to making this decision than others. If I have enough money and the decision-making ability to have a choice, I'll stay out of a nursing home as long as I can. My mother is in one now, and I've watched her decline in the last year. It may have hapened over time anyway, but I can't help but wonder what if she could have functioned more at home? What would her quality of life be like today?
Lou
To add to Post 11, or they can live with family if that member is able or willing to care fore them and can find someone or a center to put them with once in awhile. (Although that's probably not as common and I'm not sure how much more expensive/cheaper that'd be compared to a nursing home.)
I'm not near that time yet myself, but I would rather, and I know my mom's already mentioned that if she ever becomes unable to care for herself she still wouldn't want to go into a nursing home and would want to still live at home.
I just spoke with my 77-year-old grandmother about this and she said she'd rather stay here. She bought the house, she wants to stay till the last minute. Thank The Gods, she's not sick, but she said her answer wouldn't change even if something happened. People give her a headache and she wouldn't want to live far away from this town, where she can easily get to everything. I said what about a retirement community and she said no. I am an independent woman! The way she was talking though was really funny, strong-voiced and we both started laughing.
lol She also said if anyone doesn't like it she'll send them to the moon!
I doubt if anyone *wants* to end up in a nursing home. But for some people, there simply is no choice. Family members either are unable or unwilling to take care of older family members who are losing their physical and/or mental capabilities. If your parents or grandparents are insisting that they will never go to a home, that means they are not being realistic or that they are depending on you to always take care of them if they can no longer take care of themselves. But no one plans to lose the ability to take care of themselves. Unfortunately, it does happen.
i wouldn't want to live in a nursing home.
nah, i think i'd rather stay at my own home indipendently. what's the point of going into one of them counsel's houses?
I think I've agreed with Becky most on all this. It is about money. No one wants to go to a nursing home. It's got to be a bruiser to the pride, the ego, whatever you want to call it. However, I think it's selfish not to consider it, and then be a burden on family and friends because one can't take care of themselves. My Grandma is doing that right now. She can't live on her own, but refuses to leave her house. It's making a mess of my Mother and aunts lives, trying to take care of her and manage their own. But any time they bring up her living somewhere else, even a retirement community, she whips on the guilt. It makes me angry.
I haven't spoken with Joanie on this, but Mom and I agree that it is a selfish thing to do, burdening your family with taking care of you. It's not that we don't care, it's just that it's not fair to those who have to do it. Now if they choose to do it, that's fine, so long as they except the responsibility and the sacrifices that they'd be making in order to take care of this person. Fortunately, Grandma's in good health, or I'm pretty sure she'd either go live with Mom or go to a home. I think even she realises that sometimes, people can't take care of themselves, but she won't admit it. The flip side to it is not only the guilt trips, but the uncomfortable situation of having to treat your parent like a child. Where before they'd tell you to go to bed or to not go out after dark, you'd have to do it to them. They'd wind up hating you for it and you'd feel uncomfortable saying it to them. Mom brought that one up this morning, and though we're not in that situation, we both can understand the difficulty involved.
Well, when I get old, I would have to live by myself, untill I got so ill and needed to be put in a nursing home. When I become elderly, all my family would be dead, and I'd be the only one left. Sad but true.
Well, what about friends or a partner or children? You'd probably have at least some of those.
I don't plan on getting maried in the near future, let alone having kids. All my friends would probably be dead to.